Transcending....

When A Perfect Circle's, Thirteenth Step album was released, I couldn't wait to buy a copy. The buzz around the album was that it was about addiction hence the album's name. There's always been a sense of mystery surrounding frontman, Maynard James Keenan, which he inflicted years before through his band, Tool. So, in my mind, one can never be too sure about the actual meanings of any of his songs or theory behind his albums until they hear it for themselves.




I always listen to any music with a completely open mind and enjoy finding my own interpretation. I think that's the beauty of music as an art form. You develop a connection with a song and relate it to your life which leads to a stronger appreciation for the gift.

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It's no mystery that I haven't had the greatest fortune with the opposite sex throughout my life. I married at the young age of nineteen, and divorced by the time I was twenty-six. After the divorce, the dating scene left much to be desired and consisted of one failed torrid affair after another. No, I wouldn't deem myself as a "man eater" or "promiscuous". Instead, I rationalize it as being just a lost puppy searching for something to fill the void of what was missing from within.

As I look back on my adventures, I realize that my claim to fame could possibly be a novel on the dating debacle, and the ‘winners' that I've shared time with over the last ten years though.

Anyway....

After ending one of these fruitless relationships, I took a trip to the Bay Area which always brightens my spirits for a moment. There's something about San Francisco that instantly warms my heart and frees my soul. Unfortunately, that feeling of peace is always time bound and fades once my car leaves the city. Nevertheless, this particular trip was more than indispensable to me as I honestly believed I had broken the pattern by dating this particular guy. (Note: I think we believe what we want to believe in order to validate ourselves and our poor choices.)

While in the Bay, I bought the Thirteenth Step and have forever been grateful for that purchase. As I listened to the songs, I quickly understood the buzz that surrounded the album with connotations of addiction and recovery dressing each song's lyrics. It was during my crossing of the infamous Golden Gate Bridge that I became overwhelmed with the lyrical content and impact of the music especially the closer, "Gravity". This song is simply one of the most brilliantly optimistic tracks ever to grace my ears by APC.

Who would have thought that Maynard's new piece of work would be the medication that I truly needed to free myself of the continual demons and inevitable depression of making the same choices in men? But, it worked and what a journey that ride home was for me! By the time I pulled into my driveway nearly four hours later, I had a different perspective on this conceptual album than what had been previously presented by the whirr of APC fans.

For me, the album exemplifies the concept of loving one's self. The idea of acceptance and embracement resonate throughout the CD and echoed through my ears like a beautiful instrument for implementing change. And, I have indeed made changes in my own life which have undoubtedly led to a healthy and rewarding bond. Thank you, Maynard.

Sometimes, when I've had a rough day or the insecurity demon is lurking around, I throw on my CD and escape into the powerful transcendence of the music.